Manage your social media or it will manage you
Faye Lawand
The use of social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tinder has become the cornerstone of modern communication. But despite the many positive benefits of keeping us connected, from a mental health perspective, concerns have been raised about the negative impact of excessive use of social networking sites on the health and wellbeing of users.
We spoke to Faye Lawand about how we can get back in control of our social media use to achieve balance. Lawand knows a thing or two about wellness - NZ’s trusted Internal Resolution Expert, she is a certified Yoga Instructor and Clinical Hypnotherapist and specialises in helping professionals who are stressed out, burnt out or unfulfilled in life. Limiting social media use is one of the key strategies she works with clients on in the journey to help them find calm, ease and joy again.
1. You talk a lot about making sure we 'manage our social media, or it will manage us'. What do you see are the negative impacts on our mental wellness of using social media too much?
You're right, I do go on quite a bit about limiting social media consumption for anyone looking for more calm and less internal turmoil. And here's why….
When we're on our screens and scrolling, we are externalised and that's not an ideal place to be if you're serious about more calm and resilience. When you're too externalised, you're less in touch with yourself and you go into reactive mode. You're more likely to get caught up in the narrative on the screen, the agenda of those posting and then you start creating stories and scenarios of your own in your head. This all happens at a very unconscious level, of course. You're not deliberately making yourself crazy.
It's the brain and the unconscious part of the mind doing this. When you're in that level of unconscious activity of the mind, you're operating all sorts of unconscious conditioning from the past. Nine times out of 10 that conditioning is negative and unhelpful. You can't be stuck in a perpetual state of negativity and be resourceful at the same time.
2. And why do you think we all struggle to keep a handle on our social media use?
Habit is a big one for sure. Also, so much of the way we function and co-exist nowadays involves the phone, which means that we reach for it several times a day, for simple functional things that have nothing do with scrolling - banking, parking, directions, currency converter, alarm clock and so on. And so we're interacting with the phone and through the phone constantly during the day and can easily get caught up.
I see the social media thing as an extension of that overuse and over-reliance of the phone. As you know with repetition comes habit. As you repeatedly reach for the phone, reaching for the phone becomes an automatic habitual thing that you just do. This is why it is so imperative to bring some mindfulness to the way we interact with the various technologies on our phones if we want to limit its negative effects.
3. What three tips would you give someone wanting to get better control over their social media use?
1. Informed vs. Inundated
Avoid having the news on all day filling up the silence. During these times it is important to stay informed, but there is a point where we become inundated.
Recommendation: set aside specific times of the day when you allow yourself space to check in on the news.
2. Be Conscious of Mindset Imaging
The mind through overconsumption of fear-based information creates stories in the form of images that are then imprinted in our mind. When too much negative information is unconsciously consumed, a collection is created and patterning occurs – in this case, negative patterning.
Recommendation: be mindful of who you follow on social media. The great thing is that we can curate our feeds to ensure that it leans toward positivity. This is a good safeguard that can be put in place for when mindless scrolling occurs.
3. Be Conscious of a Physiology of Negativity
The mind lives in the body. Any negative patterning that does occur in the mind manifests itself in the body.
Recommendation: get up and get moving to shake off the negative effects that social media and excessive news consumption may have on your physiology.
4. Any resources you can recommend to help people better manage their social media consumption?
Ariana Huffington on her platform THRIVE has also shared social media consumption management apps which we highly recommend viewing:
More in-depth detail is covered in my 7-Step Burnout Busting Formula For Accomplished Professionals. Managing social media consumption is a key practice in this 7-Step Formula, especially as it pertains to keeping our negativity bias in check and resetting the nervous system. More detail regarding this program can be found here.
5. Any other advice you would give to someone wanting to live a more present, connected life?
Intend for it. And then prioritise it. Just like you would anything else that matters to you. Joyful, fulfilling connected happy lives don't just happen. The default of the human brain and the human mind is towards negativity, distraction and division. If we don't tend to that negativity bias, it's very unlikely to live with presence, connection and joy.
6. What's your favourite strategy for moving from stress and overwhelm to calm?
There are so many that I share and teach. Most importantly is that stress is not the problem and that all stress is not bad for you. Stress can be a tremendous fuel for productivity, focus, performance, energy and meaning. The problem then is not stress, per se. It's our mindset around stress compounded then by not taking regular time out to reset the nervous system and access those states of internal calm and resilience. They're there - calm, joy, ease, resilience - there underneath the surface ready for you to access and experience. You can't do that though if you're constantly rushing around and not taking out to reset and recharge.
For more detail regarding Faye’s programmes, head to her Facebook page or follow her on instagram.